Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18
New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper
exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a fucking bitch.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This fucking job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAY ING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.
Thank You,
Human Resources
Писмо от HR отдела
Не бе- това е обръщение към холивудските актьори 
Човек е голям, колкото са големи мечтите му
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QnN4Ob_CPE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QnN4Ob_CPE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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нови мераклии
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If you are currently job hunting then I'm sure you've seen these
catch-phrases in want ads all the time. Now you know what they REALLY
mean...
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you.
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen; figure out what they want you to do.
ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
You whine, you're fired.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED:
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
SELF-MOTIVATED:
Management won't answer questions.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a very high turnover of staff.
SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll
wait 30 days for your first commission check.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of
the real daring guys wear earrings.
SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We've filled the job; our call for CVs is just a legal formality.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos
catch-phrases in want ads all the time. Now you know what they REALLY
mean...
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you.
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen; figure out what they want you to do.
ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
You whine, you're fired.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED:
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
SELF-MOTIVATED:
Management won't answer questions.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a very high turnover of staff.
SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll
wait 30 days for your first commission check.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of
the real daring guys wear earrings.
SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We've filled the job; our call for CVs is just a legal formality.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos
Be yourself - no one else is more qualified.
"Accountant" - Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. (See also: Wizard, Magician)
"Accountant" - Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. (See also: Wizard, Magician)
нямам го на френски, ама тука има много табърнаци, все някой ще го преведенови мераклии написа:ей Бекс, най-сетне един забавен постинг от както си кацнал в таз пуста Канада -айде наздраве. Много се забавлявахме - дали имаш такъв вариант и на френски, че сега сме повече на френска вълна по разбираеми причини?
-
нови мераклии
- Мнения: 90
- Регистриран на: Нед Ное 05, 2006 4:43 pm
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- Обратна връзка:
за две години така ли не намери някоя табърначка или те не стават?
Оказва се, че жените по- ги бивало и за работа.
Women Vs. Men: Who's Better At Business?
А те искат да ни убедят в обратното....
Women Vs. Men: Who's Better At Business?
А те искат да ни убедят в обратното....
Embrace your climate change!
-
alongwayfromhome
- Мнения: 25
- Регистриран на: Нед Фев 15, 2004 7:43 pm
Страхотни сте. Постинга на Коко ще ми е от полза, ще си го разпечатам и ще го нося на интервютата. Много често ми се случва да ми изплюят някоя от тези крилати фрази и аз се чудя какво да им обяснявам. Кандските работодатели са мързеливи задници и като ми кипнe направо ще му го забия в тъпата тиква защото те от добро не разбират и ако не им се озъбиш ще те мачкат като че си евтина проститутка. Ако опиташ да си добър с тях и да им влезеш в положението и да бачкаш здраво за малко пари накрая ще ти се качат на главата и ще те изритат като куче на улицата, казвам го от личен опит.
-
alexiworld
- Мнения: 103
- Регистриран на: Нед Сеп 21, 2003 2:05 am
- Обратна връзка:
-
Sugarplum
alongwayfromhome написа:Страхотни сте. Постинга на Коко ще ми е от полза, ще си го разпечатам и ще го нося на интервютата. Много често ми се случва да ми изплюят някоя от тези крилати фрази и аз се чудя какво да им обяснявам. Кандските работодатели са мързеливи задници и като ми кипнe направо ще му го забия в тъпата тиква защото те от добро не разбират и ако не им се озъбиш ще те мачкат като че си евтина проститутка. Ако опиташ да си добър с тях и да им влезеш в положението и да бачкаш здраво за малко пари накрая ще ти се качат на главата и ще те изритат като куче на улицата, казвам го от личен опит.
