Top ten reasons to live in Canada

[optics]

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead ofthe approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada .
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick .
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.


The Officia l Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
· Californians shiver uncontrollably..
· Canadians plant gardens.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
· Italian Cars won't start
· Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0° C)
· American water freezes
· Canadian water gets thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
· New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
· Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
· Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
· Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-109.9° Fahrenheit (-78.5° C)
· Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
· Canadians pull down their earflaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
· Ethyl alcohol freezes.
· Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg

-459..67° Fahrenheit (-273.15° C)
· Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
· Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
· Hell freezes over.
· The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

[ablood]

Скъсах се да се хиля на градусите.

[7George]

Сичко си е вярно. И за провинциите, добре казано.

[filipne]

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada .
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"

Ето защо Кървавия се е заселил в Кебек

[Павел]

Почти ищо не е вярно - напън за хумор и ирония, предназначени за дебили.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. (мостовете са 5)
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. Също невярно, но дори и да беше, по тая логика, да идем да живеем във Факултето, щото е на 15 минути от центъра на София и щото бараките там са по-евтини.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. Е и?
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. Е и?
5. Weed. Е и?

За другите провинции неам нерви да чета.

[kill_u]

Това за градусите съм го чел за финландците. Но иначе е забавно.
Поздрави!

[bp_de]

Почти ищо не е вярно - напън за хумор и ирония, предназначени за дебили.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. (мостовете са 5)
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. Също невярно, но дори и да беше, по тая логика, да идем да живеем във Факултето, щото е на 15 минути от центъра на София и щото бараките там са по-евтини.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. Е и?
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. Е и?
5. Weed. Е и?

За другите провинции неам нерви да чета.

Павка - да уточня -много ми харесва при вас ама очевадното си е очевадно.

Мостовете са си баш 2 - правил съм опити да мин апо другите- е по изгодно е да чакаш в ззадръстрване на Портман моста отколкото да обиколиш дори по Патуло а за другите да не говорим че са ма маината си а тоя наи новия е платен а брат канадец кат види че трябва да плаща и пак да обикаля на маината си ......

Лично мнение- те такав идиотизъм рядко се вижда.... в момента разширяват магистралата на юг от Портман моста- значи и от 2 те страни на моста ще е с по 3-4 ленти а ма моста с 2....то сега се чака 20 мин кат не е натоварено а кат се задръсти ......Ако бяха разширили първо моста и тогава магистралата някак си по върви.
И 1 друго нещо дет сигурно никога няма да го разбера - за какв чеп трябва да се кара 10 км преди моста с 50км в час след кат е разрешено 100- отначало си мислех че има катастрофа или нещо ото сорта ...да ама не....

За къщите-ами предполагам си под наем ,щото ако имаш къща дори някаква ултра смотана барака в покраинините на Ван даже като ти забият големия данък ( за незнаещите- данъка е възоснова на реалната пазарна цена на имота )
няма да ти е кеф никак предполагам.

[miteto]

Почти ищо не е вярно - напън за хумор и ирония, предназначени за дебили.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. (мостовете са 5)
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. Също невярно, но дори и да беше, по тая логика, да идем да живеем във Факултето, щото е на 15 минути от центъра на София и щото бараките там са по-евтини.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. Е и?
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. Е и?
5. Weed. Е и?

За другите провинции неам нерви да чета.

Павка, де ти чуството за хумор бе човек? Тва не е някакъв официален списък, а е на майтап - честно казано мислех че е очевидно

[Guinness]

Ето тука по-глобално:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
Own half the world's perfume industry and still never use deodorant.
You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
If there's a war you can surrender really early.
You don't have to read the subtitles on late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
People think you're a great lover even when you're not.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
You can have a woman president without electing her.
You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
You can call Budweiser beer.
You can be a crook/adulterer and still be president.
If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
If you can breathe you can get a gun.
You can invent a new public holiday every year.
You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
You can think you're the greatest nation on earth when you're not at all.


TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah.
Warm beer.
You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
Union jack underpants.
Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
Ditto changing underwear.
Beats being Welsh.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN:
It beats being an American.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?.
A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
Own-an-eskimo scheme.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground

[iliana]

Top 10 Reasons You know you are a Bulgarian:

1. You don't want to have or do any business with Bulgarians.
2. You started to drink at the age of 12.
3. Your baba and diado live in your basement.
4. Your parents have a shot of rakiya for breakfast.
5. You live with your mom and dad until you are married.
6. Your mom tells you not to sit on cement or your ovaries will freeze.
7. When you can always smell garlic on your parents breath and they insist that is kills bacteria.
8. Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American.
9. Your father calls you a dummy for not knowing how to do something he can't do either.
10. You are 18 years old but your parents still call you by your sibling's or pet's name.

[krimon]

постът на илианчето бие по простотия всички останали в темата
Определено написано на английски става още по-гнусно ... надявам се, илианче, че се разпознаваш добре и си се радваш

[iliana]

Айде още една оперирана от чуство за хумор.
Не разбра ли че цялата тема е пусната за майтап?

[krimon]

що на английски ма, девойко - за да ти четат простотиите и не-българи

Радвам се за вас, че си мислите, че пиянството от ранна детска възраст и алкохолизмът в семейството е основна черта на българщината, та даже го възприемате като майтап

[iliana]

Глей сега, това не съм го измислила аз.
Ако се разровиш из гугъл подобни има кажи-речи за всяка страна.

[7George]

3. Your baba and diado live in your basement.

В Канада там заселват първо отрастващите деца, да си поемат пътя в живота....

Кримон, ти май искаш да си модератор. Имаш право да не четеш.